Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not want my business?

Have you ever tried to use your credit card only to be told that there was a minimum purchase amount for credit card transactions?

Isn't that really annoying? I mean, do they accept credit cards or do they NOT accept credit cards? I love it when they say, "There's an ATM right over there." Yeah, and YOUR bank and MY bank are going to collectively charge me $4.50 to get out some cash, which means I'll spend more money than your so-called minimum.

Recently, however, I have managed to talk them out of charging me the minimum. You know why? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T.

It goes something like this:

Them: Your total is $8.73.

I had them my card.

Them: There is a $10 minimum for credit card purchases.

Me: Did you know that's in violation of the terms of your contract with Visa?

Them: Uh.

Of course they didn't know. They aren't the boss. They didn't make the rules.

Them: Okay, I'll go ahead and run it.

Me, feeling bad that I bullied someone so I could get my way: Look, I know why you do it. It's because Visa charges you a lot of money.

Them: Yeah, it's a lot of money.

Me: So the problem is Visa. THEY'RE the evil one. Small businesses should band together and fight Visa.

Them smiles.

Me: And you could lead the way! You could become like a consultant or something to teach companies how to deal with Visa, and people would see you and say, "Hey, that's the guy that fought Visa!"

Them, with more smiles: It only takes one to change the world.

Me: Exactly. It might as well be you.

THE END.

This is a not-exactly-word-for-word transcript of the conversation I had with the guy at a pizza place in the mall yesterday. And I like it for two reasons.

1. I only paid $9.55 for my lunch instead of $10. Yes, we had that showdown over 45¢. My husband was so proud.
2. Them was smiling by the end. I didn't want to bully him. Really. I tried to make sure he knew my problem was with Visa and partially with the owner of the restaurant, but not with him. I think I succeeded.

Jeff and I then sat down to eat our lunches, all the while trying to figure out ways to get Visa not to be so evil. The thing is, it's not that I want Visa not to make any money. I appreciate the service they provide. I'm okay with a company making money of the convenience they provide me. I just don't like it when the RIP PEOPLE OFF.

Having been in what I would call "extreme credit card debt" I was already convinced of the usurious ways of credit card companies. I know, yes, I have responsibility in how I use money and credit, but I was in college and I was stupid and THEY KNEW IT AND THEY PREYED UPON ME. (I am currently credit card debt free, praise God.)

But now as a business professional (what? me? I'm barely a functioning adult. Who let me do this, and why can't they see I'm a fraud?) I see the OTHER side of the digital coin. Credit card companies charge vendors, too. Big companies can eat these costs, but small business suffer. And they have to pass the cost on to me. And you know what? That's fine. Raise your prices to cover these costs. If I know how much I'm spending when I walk into this, that's fine. But to tell me at the end of our business transaction that I haven't spent enough money, which tells me you don't want my $9.55, you only want my $10, that's just not a great customer experience. I mean, I have money. Money, that I want to give to you in exchange for the thing I want and at a price advertized by you on your menu, and therefore implicitly agreed upon. For you to say, "Nah, that's okay," results in the furrowing of my brow and the pursing of my lips and the raising of one eyebrow.

Jeff and I decided we'd need more than half an hour to figure out a battle plan for defeating the oligopoly that is Visa, Mastercard, Discover and AmEx. In the meantime, I may decide to support my local small business and start carrying cash. (I wish you knew me well enough to know that the last statement should actually be enough to make you faint and fall over.)