Avoidance is my MO

Sometimes I think I'd have a better handle on my life if I just stopped avoiding things.  It takes a lot of thought and energy to avoid things, and that's thought and energy I could be putting into addressing the whatever-it-is and then moving on to something actually productive.

Along those lines, I've been thinking about making a list of all the things I'm avoiding.  Like pen and paper list.  It seems like a good first step to dealing with something - actually admitting that there is a something and that I'm avoiding it.  Acknowledge it.  Get it out in the open.

Would you be surprised to learn I'm avoiding making that list?

That sorta reminds me:

The other day, my therapist told me that he thinks my transformation by God is more "Jacob wrestling with God" and less "road to Damascus."

So I'll try not to let myself get beat down that I am not the me I want to be quite yet.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why my hip has been popping so much lately, to remind me that struggling is succeeding and only quitting is losing.

Why does it have to be this way?


So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

The man asked him, "What is your name?"

"Jacob," he answered.

Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."

But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

So Jacob called the place Peniel,saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."