Random

Whenever I see a bus headed to PENNS LANDING, I usually misread the sign the first time and think that the second N is actually an I. Maybe they should do that in lower case.

Transition

Almost three years ago, my life changed forever. I packed up all my things and said goodbye to friends and family and drove 1500 miles to a new city to marry a man I had met only months before.

It has been the most wonderful and thrilling ride of my life.

It has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

I'm not even sure I can tell you what it was like. It felt like I had lost myself. Everything about me was suddenly called into question. I had to reevaluate everything.

Part of the difficulty was all the things I ended up with, but didn't choose. I chose Jeff. I ended up with Philadelphia. I chose Jeff. I ended up with Circle of Hope. I chose Jeff. I ended up with a community around me that seemed full of aliens, and not the friendly kind either.

And quite honestly, choosing Jeff was hard enough. We think differently about money and debt. About kids. About possessions. About work. About housekeeping. It's been hard to sort that out. And doing it after taking myself out of everything that I had known and that was familiar and placing myself on what seemed like another planet was more than my mind could take.

There were times when I felt completely alone. I remember lying on the floor of my closet and crying out, "I'm dying, I'm dying."

The only way for me to survive was to change. And of course people change. I needed to. And I still had choices about who I was to become. But my options were different and I didn't like it.

I'm saying all this because I think I'm finally done. I've finally transitioned. I have decided who I will be, who I am. It's still a conscious struggle to be affected by my environment, but not defined by it - to be me, but here. I am no longer a Dallas girl living in Philadelphia. Now I am a Philadelphia girl. At least for now.

I don't know how long Jeff and I will stay. I'm not ready to give up entirely on the dream of going back to Texas someday.

But for now, Jeff and I are here. And I'm okay with that.

How firm a foundation, you saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He has said—
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed!
For I am your God, and will still give you aid;
I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call you to go,
The rivers of woe shall not you overflow;
For I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.

When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
My grace all sufficient shall be your supply;
The flame shall not hurt you: I only design
Your dross to consume, and your gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavour to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

FBI Warning

Back in Dallas, a night at the movies meant driving to the big 30-screen multiplex, and parking at the back of the giant parking lot and standing in line to buy tickets from the automated kiosk.

Not so in Philadelphia. At least not tonight. Tonight, we did something illegal!

So there's this video store not far from our house. It's not like a Blockbuster or anything. It's this dinky individually owned video store. Not fancy AT ALL. Did I mention they sell ice cream cones there? They do. (I got a chocolate and moose tracks on a sugar cone.)

Anyway, a few weeks back we found this place and turns out they show movies there every weekend. Tonight was Coraline, so we went to go watch it.

At the back of the store, there's a very small theater (it only seats 24) with a small projector and for $6 you get admission to the movie and a brown sandwich bag about half full of popcorn.

So basically the deal is that this guy is buying movies on blue ray and then selling admission to them in his store, which I think is illegal. And I think the way he gets around the law is by giving us the popcorn. So he can tell the "authorities" that he's selling the popcorn but admission to the movie is free. Like he's just inviting friends over to his house to watch a movie, except that instead of his house, we're at his store, and instead of being his friends, we're just random people off the street who want to pay $6 for popcorn.

Some friend. Making me buy my own popcorn. Sheesh.

Seriously?

Philly is weird. I mean, I know I've lived in the south all my life, and any other place is likely to feel foreign to me, but come on.

A few months ago, I was making a right turn, but there were these two "gentlemen" standing in the middle of the road so I just stopped and waited. I didn't want to honk, because I knew it would be loud and I didn't want to startle them. One of the guys saw me so he knew I was waiting, but the other apparently didn't. When he finally noticed me, he turned to me and said very derisively, "Don't you have a horn?"

Did he just fuss at me for NOT honking at him?

Really?