I used to be afraid of marriage. I was afraid I was going to settle. It seemed like all the guys I knew either they weren't good enough for me or I wasn't good enough for them. (Isn't that a healthy way of thinking about it?)
But then I met Jeff.
I like that we can be silly together. I like that he talks to the dogs using the doggie language. I like that we can be serious together. A lot of times, we agree on things. But sometimes we don't agree and it's okay. Other times we don't agree and I get mad at him. But really, it's still okay.
I like that he challenges me. I like that he tries to learn how to be a better husband to me. I like that he teaches me things. I like that he learns things from me. I like the way he talks. I told him the other day that talking to him was like reading good literature all the time. It's great.
I like that he apologizes when I wake him up to tell him he's snoring. I like that sometimes he helps me with the yard even though he'd rather pave the entire thing. (It's only 100 sq ft.)
I like that he tries to live wisely. I like that he does a lot of thinking.
I like that he loves me. He does it well.
I am thinking you probable know how fortunate you are. Maybe you haven't been married long, or experienced LONG periods of un-employment. In the 9 years we have been married the first four were pretty good. Meaning we had a life. we lived in NYC, had a swell apartment, fantastic friends, enjoyed going to central park, galleries, concerts, dive bars and fancy restaurants - hosting Thanksgiving for all of our wayward friends who had no relatives close by. Then my husband was laid off and for 2.5 years could not find work in NYC. Ultimately he got an offer in Irvine CA, and this life long NYer was forced to move - that job only lasted 15mos.
ReplyDeleteAnd since March of last year (2008) he's unemployed again.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, when we met I thought finally, a thoughtful, smart, articulate, game-fully employed ambitious, interesting, funny guy who referred to me as his goddess, not bad right. Especially after a sucession of losers and lowlife scum. And the non commitment "Mr. for right nows"
NOW he has checked out, he is depressed, not communicating and not willing to go to a councilor - not that this isn't something a good job offer would fix.
Oh and to add insult to injury- we were forced to move in with his parents in AZ (hot-as-hell) AZ and have been here since last Oct.
running out of savings and losing hope. And so naturally I wonder if on Sept. 23 2000, I made a wise decision in front of 120 invited family and friends....but how could I have known really? Thanks for letting me vent- maybe things will improve and I will delete this post in the future.
Yeah, I know I'm pretty lucky. But it's not like life is smooth sailing from here on in. We could still screw this up. But for now, things are good.
ReplyDeleteIt must be really frustrating that life isn't going like you wanted, or even a suitable alternative. I wish I had words of wisdom, but really all I can say is, wow, that sucks. I hope things get better for the both of you and that you can be there for each other.